Soooo..
Chappy Chanukah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year to all.
Here goes. My first blog post of 2011.
I hate flying more than anything. You know the barf bags that are in the pockets of the seat in front of you? I'm originally who those were made for. I get sick and nervous and overwhelmed and all I can think about is my plane blowing up and me dying in a fiery furnace and how I spent my whole life in school. Anyway, that's that. I tell you all this because I had to fly home for the holidays and, of course, hilarity ensued. I met someone who hated flying more than I do.
I have no idea what her name was, but we ended up sitting next to each other. She began going on and on about how sweaty she was (which I could clearly see. Her sweating was like that of Reuben Studdard's during his final American Idol performance. Google it.) and how she'd never flown in her life. Once she finished telling me her life story, she went back to her business twiddling her thumbs or whatever it is people do on planes besides blow chunks. Then, out of nowhere, she starts talking again. At first, I thought she was talking to me and I began to get annoyed. I don't deal well with eye contact, and I especially don't deal well with eye contact in close quarters (aka- 6 inches away from my face). Then I realized she was having a full-blown conversation with her coffee cup. It went something like this:
(As she puts it in the pocket of the seat in front of her)
"Please don't spill.... I'm nervous enough as it is...
"You've been so good all day, so I figure SOMETHING bad is going to happen." (Cue robust laughter)
"I've just never flown before and it would be so embarrassing if you spilled on me!"
No, ma'am. You know what's embarrassing? WHAT YOU'RE DOING RIGHT NOW. Somedays, there are things that just go way over my head. I think this is one of them. Anyway, that's just a fun little tidbit from my life.
Also, I received the movie "Babies" for Christmas from my precious little nugget face of a sister. For those who aren't aware, "Babies" is a documentary by Disney (I think...?) that chronicles the lives of four babies and their different issues they face. The babies come from America, Japan, Mongolia, and Africa. For the most part the film is precious, but if this doesn't make me even more disgusted by breast-feeding, I don't know what will. There were boobs EVERYWHERE. All kinds of boobs. I couldn't even deal with it. At one point, there was a shot of just a boob and a baby's face. The mom then proceeds to SPRAY HER BABY IN THE FACE as a form of teasing. I'm sorry, what?! I wanted to die. Thank God I didn't get it in BluRay.
Enough talk of tits.
This Christmas/New Year was all about conformity and becoming like others. At least it was for me. I finally joined the rest of the world in a lot of ways. I got internet on my phone, I cultivated an ipod touch, but most importantly I made the best investment I've made in quite sometime: jeggings.
Jeggins are literally the smartest invention ever. I've said it once and I'll say it again; The inventor of jeggings deserves the Nobel Peace Prize. If your ass is like mine, you'll understand why they're so incredible. They look just like jeans, minus the muffin top. You could do cartwheels and backflips in them. Granted I can't do a backflip, but if I could, these would be the garment to do them in. I'm contemplating suggesting them to the US Olympic Gymnastics Team. I can't say enough good things about J to the E to the GGINGS.
And really quickly I just want to mention a little golden token in the reality TV world. We all know how much I live for reality TV. I eat that shit up. Doesn't matter what it is, how low and morally ambiguous people have to be to be on the show, or how blatantly and insensitively people's insecurities are targeted...I love them all. But one in particular: Bridalplasty.
At first I thought "This is just too much. You've literally hit rock bottom E! network" but then I watched it. These bitches are SO HILARIOUS. It sort of looks like a scene out of a horror movie. A ton of women with cut up faces and bandages all over their bodies living in the same house and each week someone gets whacked. Not exactly where I'd want to be. Regardless, I love it. If you would like to share in the obsession, it airs Mondays at some prime time. Just watch E! on a commercial break and I'm sure they'll mention it.
My favorite "character" to make fun of is Allison. This woman is like 270 pounds so, of course, she wants a shit ton of lipo as is custom for the fluffy female. But the first thing she got done is her arms...? She now has the torso, hips, thighs, and ass of a large and in charge woman, but has these twiggy arms. She looks ridiculous.
Anyway, that's all I really have for today. I'm so sorry it's been so long! Thanks for reading today!
Sydney
Obsession of the day: My mass media theories professor who looks like John Corbett
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