Is Nothing Sacred Anymore?

All I have today is a little story, so come along children.

I was in the car this morning, barely woken up, the tiniest bit hungover, and ready to go back to bed when I hear the most ridiculous commercial on the radio. These women were talking about the benefits of breast feeding. Problem number 1: the last thing I want to hear about when I wake up in the morning is pregnancy. Moreover, the idea of having a baby latched on to my lady bits for dear life is pretty close to revolting for me. Now I understand that breast feeding is supposed to be great for a child and make it not stupid or something like that, but by definition breast feeding is pretty close to parasitism. The baby gets fed, the mom gets boobs that touch her waist. Just sayin'

So these women are on this commercial elaborating about their breast feeding plans. At one point, an all-too-ghetto woman says "Ohhh yeahhh, I'm breast feeding for as long as I can". Good to know, Mo'Nique. Will you be reprising your role in "Phat Gurlz" any time soon?

The announcer on the commercial then says something like "It doesn't matter whether you breast feed for a month or a year..."

Why, yes it does matter if you breast feed for a year. The idea of a child still breast feeding after a year is the tiniest bit upsetting, only because I'm pretty sure some children are walking by a year. I may be lying, though. I don't have a kid so I'm not entirely sure, but in my book, if your baby can walk, your baby can walk to the fridge and get it's own damn glass of milk.

Then, one woman says that she "likes the idea of breast feeding burning 600 calories a day, so [she] can get her figure back". Two flaws with your theory, precious. You have to breast feed for like 17 hours of the day to burn 600 calories. Also, the idea that you'll get your figure back solely due to breast feeding is attainable in theory, but you would have to breast feed for about 16 years and not eat anything...ever. Godspeed, little lady. She seemed excited about it though, so who am I to burst her bubble?

Anyway, guys, that's all I've got for today. Another sassy rant. Cutting edge, right? Have a great day!!

Obsession of the day: Hip to My Heart by The Band Perry

Home Sweet Home

I wouldn’t say I’m the most knowledgeable nugget in Happy Meal (considering I had to use spell check to correct “knowledgeable”) but I have learned a select few things over the summer.

Your family is always going to back you up. As long as you’re not a total psycho, your family is going to be in your corner rooting for you. My parents, though we’ve had a ton of differences this summer, have been incredibly stellar. There’s always going to be some middle ground that you both can find, and, in the end, you’ve got to love your crazy ass family.

Old songs are the best things to rock out to in your car. Now, I understand that this could be construed as cheating on my musicals, so don’t get me wrong. I will forever be obsessed with my musicals, but if you have people in your car and you don’t want to appear to be a complete social recluse, you’ve got to turn on some Blues Traveler. I literally can’t count how many times I let myself go on one of the songs from my childhood. Example: “All For You” by Sister Hazel. If you were born in the 90’s like me, you understand what I’m talking about when I say that you’ll drop just about anything and sing along when you hear “It’s hard to say what it is I see in you. Wonder if I’ll always be with you…” on your radio. Puts me in an instant good mood. I drove the complete opposite way that I was supposed to be going on the freeway for about 45 minutes to a place called Waller County and didn’t even realize it because I had “Let Love In” by The GooGoo Dolls on repeat.

TLC has the best reality TV shows. I am a TLC junkie. If you saw my Tivo, you would understand. It’s 70% “Say Yes to the Dress”. That show makes me want to get married and, honestly, I don’t really care to whom as long as I get to go to Kleinfeld’s and meet Keesha. (Also, please don’t think I legitimately use the word “whom”. Spell check wouldn’t ignore it and the little squiggles under the words make me absolutely insane so I had to change it.) Anyway, along with having some of the best shows, TLC has some of the most offensive. Only TLC could get away with a show like “Little Chocolatiers”. Midgets who make chocolate? Soooo many Keebler Elf jokes, but I’ll resist. Especially because my boyfriend continually asks me when I’m going to audition to be a little chocolatier. I’m 5’2”, he’s 6’7” and thinks he’s funny. Other shows like “Too Fat for 15” and “One Big Happy Family” chronicle morbidly obese people and their struggles. Not only has it been my biggest fear in the world to end up on one of these shows, but I’ve realized that these show titles are the tiniest bit offensive. As punny and cute and TLC thought they were being with “One Big Happy Family” I think this could be considered uncomfortable/offensive. I believe that the phrase “one big happy family” was originally used in the song “He’s Got the Whole World in His Hands”, and I don’t think TLC is as sacreligious as that. And with “Too Fat for 15”, they really weren’t messing around with a cute name. You’re too fat? You’re 15? Perfect. Wanna be on “Too Fat for 15”? Not to mention the washed up show of “Kate Plus 8”. If I wanted to watch an incredibly bitchy woman raise her children, I’d go to your mom’s house! Ka-Chow!!

Chipotle is your friend. There’s not much to be said about this one. My best friend and I ate there at least 2 times a week. Not only did Chipotle satisfy my all-too-unusual obsession with guacamole and anything made with avocados, but they also gave me extra cilantro on everything I ordered. I was a happy girl.

These may not have been the most helpful of insights, but they were simple enough for me, and somewhat defined my summer. I guess that sort of shows how uneventful my summer actually was. Thank you guys for reading today!

Obsession of the day: Lubbock. TX

Nineteen Years and Counting...?

So today is my birthday. Nineteen seems like sort of a "blah" year. I feel like not a lot of cool things happen when you're 19 except that you're one year closer to 21, but that's totally fine with me. 19 seems like an odd place to be, though. The only thing that I can think of that has anything to do with being nineteen is the show "19 Kids and Counting" (hence the title of this post). So, I guess you could say I've Duggar-ed my way through life up until this point. So what I'm going to do for this blog is chronicle all of the important events in my life up until now, and maybe you'll come to understand just why I'm such an odd duck.

1. I was born. I would say that this would be the most monumental and important thing yet. Without the event of my birth, I don't know where I would be. August 15, 1991. 7 pounds 11 ounces, fly as a mofo. That's all I have to say about that.

2. I don't remember anything really up until about 2nd grade. My best friend's name was Loren, and she and I thought we were sisters. How sweet, right? Loren's black. We were intelligent.

3. I realized I was white and that LL Cool J was not my father.

4. My fat ass got stuck on playground equipment at the ripe old age of 7. I wore skorts and vividly remember being chased halfway across the world (read: playground) by a bumblebee. I was convinced it was because of the sunflower embroidery on my denim dress and, honestly, that still seems pretty plausible in my mind.

5. I transferred elementary schools and had to cultivate my popularity (yeahhh, right) once again. I started a band with 4 or 5 girls that I later would never speak to again. We wrote songs based on each holiday. Valentine's was my favorite, I think.

6. Middle school. I was super unfortunate, and would really rather not talk about this dark time in my life. Braces, boys, and bad skin. I'm not about that.

7. Got my first kiss the summer before my freshman year. Suuuuuper awkward. His name was Jesse and he left the next day for New York....where he lived. You know what TaySwift says: "When you're 15....you're an idiot".

8. High School came and went pretty quickly, thank the dear Lord baby Jesus. I joined theatre, never got a single lead, changed gender a couple times, and all around had a great time. I got my car towed for the first and (knock on wood) last time. It was all, gravy baby.

9. Went to Texas Tech and my life started. Pledge a service sorority, and ended up having an incredible first year. Made some awesome friends, went to some awesome parties , and just soaked up everyone's awesomeness (please get the "Mean Girls" reference).

Anyway, that's about it. I guess I'll just keep Duggar-ing for a while. Thank you guys for reading today!

Love,

Sydney

Obsession of the Day: Getting tan

But Anyway...

I realized this morning, after taking my final for my summer school class that I haven't even mentioned that I'm in school. It's taking up quite a bit of my time, so I can't believe that I haven't at least described the 9th circle of hell I'm paying good money to be in. Granted it's only one class, but, trust me, it's SO full of character.

I'm taking Government 2302 at Houston Community College.

My teacher is named Dr. Apanda. Like a panda bear. Also, I can't understand a damn word he says. He's from the DRC which, if you don't know, is the Democratic Republic of the Congo. He's about as easy to understand as Franck Egglehoffer in "Father of the Bride". So, children, let this little golden nugget of knowledge sink in: my American public policy teacher is Congolese. Ohhh, yes.

Let me also say that I had an incredibly stellar Political Science teacher last semester, so this transition was first like being taught by Denzel Washington circa "Remember the Titans" to being taught by Precious Jones and may or may not have sent me into epileptic shock.

Another element, and probably the most important, is my friend Khoa. And by friend I actually mean I can't stand him. He is from Japan and is constantly insisting that he is right about everything. Why is he right about everything? Because he "studied with a government professor who has been involved in American policy for 30 years". I can't help but think, though, that all Khoa really did was take another community college class from some really old Political Science major. He's legitimately the most hostile person I've ever met. Even more hostile than I am, and that's not an easy task, I'll tell you that.

He insisted that Ben Bernanke was printing to much money and single-handedly destroying our economy. Who knows how to fix it? Well, Khoa of course! He then goes in to a really long explanation about how we should print less money and only give it out to businesses that the government knows is going to succeed (genius!) and that way the economy would be consistent or something because that's how they do it in Germany and Russia. He knows everything and I feel blessed to be in his presence 2 hours a day 5 days a week.

Anyway, guys, this is a pretty crappy blog post now that I read over it, but I figured I should post SOMETHING since I've been out of commission for a while.

Thanks for reading everyone,

Sydney

Obsession of the Day: Blues Traveler