Gobble

Ok so with Thanksgiving just around the corner, I figure instead of being ranty and awful and bitter like usual, I'm going to make a list of ten the things I'm thankful for. Of course these aren't the only things I'm thankful for, but if I listed out everything I was thankful for I'd be here for days. If you love my cynicism and want your view of me to remain as one of bitterness and sarcasm, don't read this post.

So, I'm thankful for:

1. Chipotle

One of these recently came to Lubbock and I am SO happy. My best friend and I are obsessed and every time I'm in there, I think of her. And guacamole.

2. People who play air instruments

Air guitar, drums, bass, piano, trumpet... The list goes on forever, but one thing remains the same: it is incredibly entertaining to watch. I would like to get ahold of an air band and maybe see if they'll play my next party.

3. Texts from Last Night

People say that this website is so "out", but I beg to differ. If you're not aware, this website is full of anonymous, hilarious texts sent in by people all around the world. Sometimes they're random, sometimes they're drunk, but they're always pretty funny. If I feel like by day is going crappy, within 4 minutes of being on this site I can find someone whose night was 10 times worse.

4. TLC Reality Shows

Among these are: "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant", "Say Yes to the Dress", "Sarah Palin's Alaska", and my main squeeze "Sister Wives". I know I've mentioned these all before, but they're too good to not mention again. They offend me, make me laugh, make me cry, but most importantly, make me wonder what the eff people in this world are thinking. Like on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant", for instance. If you are having sex unprotected, get sick in the mornings, gain weight solely around your midsection, and stop getting a visit from the big red monster every month, I don't know how you don't pick up on your pregnancy. Quite mistaking kicks for gas pains, you hillbilly. If any of these shows has a marathon, I have to cancel my plans for the day. It gets bad.

5. Glee

My Tuesdays mean something again.

6. People's Sexiest Man Alive Issue

Not only was this year's Sexiest Man Alive title give to the most deserving of candidates (Ryan Reynolds), but this issue constantly reminds me how ok I would be with being cradle robbed. I have a thing for older guys. Not like Hefner old, but like 40's-50's. Case and point: Richard Gere. I spent about 20 minutes last night telling my boyfriend about the hots I had for this silver-haired fox, Harrison Ford, Dennis Quaid, Robert Downey Jr. and Jon Bon Jovi. I don't know why I'm such a perv.

7. Four Lokos

They're gone now, but were wonderful while they lasted. If you're unaware, Four Lokos are an energy drink and alcohol all rolled in to one heart damaging little bundle. I decided I had to stop drinking them, then the FDA followed. I trend-set. They have been recalled and are not allowed to be sold again due to the fact that they cause heart attacks. RIP Lokos and RIP Loko Thursday.

8. Febreeze

It just smells so effin' good.

9. My Makeup

Without it, I look like a leper and scare children. Trust me, you're thankful for it too.

10. The Obvious

This is the obvious one that everyone says, but it's definitely my most important. My family and friends. I have the most amazing family.

My mother is hands down the most incredible woman I know. She's amazingly loving and just enough of a crazy ass to make things interesting. If I can grow up to be even a single ounce like her, I'll consider myself lucky.

My dad is a total badass and I love him for it. He's a man of few words, but he cracks me up a lot of the time. He's the hardest working man I've ever seen, and I consider myself fortunate to have him around.

My sister is the cutest thing to ever walk this planet. I'm so proud of her and who she is becoming, even though it trips me out that she's going in to middle school. She's my little love button and I miss her so much.

My friends of course. The old ones: Meg, Alex, and Steph. The new ones: Taylor, Leah, and Kalli. And of course, Curtis, the in between. They've helped me through different phases of my life, and regardless of how long we've been friends, they always been supportive of everything I decide to do. That's the most important thing.

Lastly, the family I'm spending my Thanksgiving with. I'm not coming home this year. Instead I'm spending the holiday with my boyfriend and his absolutely amazing family. They have been so welcoming to me and I sincerely couldn't ask for anything more.

Anyway, everyone. Sorry about that cheestastic moment. I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving! Eat plenty of mashed potatoes and get tons of sleep!

Love,

Sydney

Obsession of the Day is going to be my Thanksgiving List's Honorable Mention:

Chelsea Handler's interview special

"He's Just Not That Into You" (book and movie)

My academic advisor

and Lubbock, TX

MAGNUMMMS

Ok errbody. I've been feeling particularly uninspired until about 20 minutes ago when the ridiculousness of our generations pop culture came up and bitch slapped me. Ready? Go.

1. "Firework" by Katy Perry

This song is the tits. It's that inspirational "don't worry about being such a screw up because you can still get a job on a street corner" kind of song. Well, I feel inspired anyway. The music video, however, is neither the tits nor is it inspiring . Go watch it or this part isn't going to make sense. So Katy is just singing her little baby heart out, having a great time on a balcony when all of a sudden....HOLY SHIT SHE'S SHOOTING FIRE OUT OF HER LADY BITS.

At least try not to hit the bystanders...

So don't get me wrong. I love Katy Perry and, if given the opportunity, I'd probably be down for making out with her. That being said, she looks entirely too much like the fembots in Austin Powers.

Don't even try to tell me you don't see a similarity.

Please don't think that the metaphor is lost on me. I get the whole firework=independence/determination/coming to terms with how wonderful you are. But to say that everyone is special and perfect in their own way is sort of the nice way of saying no one is. You were all thinking it, I just said it.

Anyway, so as all these people find their independence and love themselves for who they are and all that stuff they begin to...burst into flame? Also, how much would it suck to be one of the people who didn't actually get to become a firework, but instead just get a bunch of gunpowder all over your clothes? A lot...that's how much.

Then after all these people find their independence is where I get lost, because the camera cuts to a woman giving birth for no apparent reason. So think of the cheesiest birth scene you've ever viewed and then add a Fourth of July fireworks display. Those poor doctors.

That's all I'm going to say about this music video. Too much pregnancy and fire. Bleck.

2. Public Service Announcements

OH MY FRACKING GOD. There is a new PSA out concerning safe sex courtesy of the Candies Foundation. It's called the "Pause Before You Play" campaign and guys, this one is a doozie. The spokespeople? Mike "The Situation" and Bristol Palin. I, for one, am so SICK of seeing Bristol's face around. Her poor child is going to be so aware of how unwanted he or she is by the time it hits puberty that the parent-child strain is going to be out of this world. For a mother who is so in the media, I'm surprised I don't know the sex of Bristol's baby. Coincidence? I think not.

So the PSA goes on and has Palin advocating abstinence while Mike advocates safe sex through condoms. My favorite part of this whole thing is when Palin says something along the lines of "Mike, I just want you to practice safe sex". Then, Situation whips out a pack of Magnums. I don't know what is more offensive: The thought of The Situation have sex with anyone or the idea that a white guy is trying to convince the world that he uses Magnums. You're Italian, Mike. Not black. He's not even that Italian.

3. Sarah Palin's reality show

Is this even necessary? Sarah Palin is a joke, but as much as I want to hate her, I can't. She just so gosh-darn cute and Alaskan when she runs around with bears and shit. I smell an Emmy coming on.

Alright guys thats all I have for today!

Thanks for reading!

Sydney

Obsession of the day: Taylor and Leah

Chicka Chicka Yeaaaaahhh

So as I sit here drinking my coffee, listening to "Colorblind" by the Counting Crows, and blogging, I can't help but feel more and more like Carrie Bradshaw by the second. And I love it.

That being said, my life has been a series of the most unfortunate events lately. Want to know why? I thought you might.

1. My academic advisor openly laughs at me.

Long story short, I'm having some issues with the registrar here at the lovely Texas Tech University. They messed up my credits and I've been taking a class that I shouldn't have to (and failing it....twice) and now they want me to clean up after them. Hit em, Wreck em, Texas Tech?

Anyway. I've been pretty tight with my advisor the last few weeks and she's been helping me work it out. At one point, she openly laughed at me through an email. Here's the actual email:

"The English department has sent it to the registrar to resolve. HAHAHA! We'll keep trying."

Excuse me...what the HELL are you laughing at?? I'm trying to graduate, here. Your laughter is not appreciated. You wont think this is so funny when I punch you in the jaw.

2. I have been run over.

One of my worst fears is the bikers on campus. They freak the hell out of me because I'm always afraid they're going to run someone over. Coincidentally, that someone was me yesterday. I'm walking along minding my own business, when out of nowhere, I'm knocked flat on my back in the middle of the science quad. I'm pretty sure this bike had a motor in it, too, because he was going entirely too fast. Or at least it felt like it.

I know I probably shouldn't have been concerned with this, but when I was falling, I was making the UGLIEST face ever. You know when you do something and you can just feel yourself looking like an idiot? That's what this was.

I have the overwhelming feeling that I looked something like this.

I guess this isn't necessarily a series of events, but if it's all the same to you, that's what I'll call it. I have to go to class now, kids.

Thanks for reading today!

Love,

Syd

Obsession of the day: Volleyball intramurals.

Chicken Wire is Obscene.

This is rant-ish. If you're having a shitty day and want to laugh at my misfortunes, continue to read. If you're having an amazing day and the tiniest piece of negativity would bring you down, by all means, move on. In the nicest way possible.

Leggings are NOT pants.

Why do we not understand this? I don't care how skinny and knock-kneed you are, leggings don't count as pants. I'll go ahead and put in an easy three step process so you can tell if you're wearing leggings as pants or not.

1. Look at your ass.

2. Can you see it at all?

3a. If yes: take your leggings off because that shirt you originally got for your illegitimate child at the Baby Gap doesn't cover speck of your ass, you big hussy. You look vulgar, put on some pants.

3b. If no: rock the tunic and leggings you're wearing and be on your way, foxy.

Do you have things that you do that piss you off every time you do them?

Like when you stub your toe, you want to go on a screaming rampage because it hurts so bad but you have no one to blame but yourself, right? Now, there is one thing that I do all the time that gets me legitimately baby-punching angry every time. When I rip my headphones out of my ears. Weird? Maybe. I put my ipod in my backpack side pocket, I drop my backpack on the floor, I rip out my headphones. It pisses me off to no end and I have no clue why. If I do it more than 3 times in one day, I'm in a bad mood for the next 12 hours. It's like being yanked out of my musical world and thrown in to Alcatraz. That's that.

Update on Willow Smith!

She went on The Ellen Degeneres show. It kills me slowly to say that. But, Ellen being the beautiful woman she is was on my side and underhandedly made fun of Willow especially every time Willow said the phrase "my career". Ellen then gave her a neck brace bedazzled with rhinestones and pictures of Ellen's face on it to protect her from any hair whipping injuries. Everyone should check out the interview.

That's really all I have for today. Nothing spectacular. Thanks for reading!

Love,

Syd

Obsession of the Day: Loko Thursdays.

Rock the Vote!

So today is election day. Go and rock out wicha cock out. Wasn't that the "Rock the Vote" slogan a couple years ago? Where's P. Diddy when you need him? Well, regardless, go out and vote! I mean....I don't vote. I don't understand politics and I don't feel like I should have the power to change the administration when I'm voting based on tie colors. The only reason I would go to political science class last semester was because I was hot for teacher (along with all the other girls in my class....cockblocks). Also, in the last 6 sentences I've used the word "cock" twice. Gross.

Ok so that was my public service announcement for the day.

Down to business.

Last weekend was Halloween! I was and Indian. Feathers, not dots. So I guess, if I wanted to be politically correct (which I never do), I was a Native American.

So, my first night out getting crunk I went party hopping with my girlfriends Kalli and Taylor (aka- referee and Snookie). So Snooks, ref, and I got wasted and had a fun but fairly uneventful night.

Next night, my boyfriend's brother's band was in town. (Sidenote: The band is called Spivey and you should all go check them out on Facebook or something. They're awesome.) So Curtis (the b.fran in case you forgot) and I went to watch the concert. We're just chilling and dancing around when in walks 4 giant dicks. No, I'm not talking about frat guys or obnoxious, bar hogging asshats. There were 4 guys dressed up as penises for Halloween. Don't believe me?

Suck on it... But don't really.

Sorry, guys. I don't have a lot to write about today. I hope everyone has an awesome day!

Love,

Sydney

Obsession of the day: Dolly Parton and Michael Buble's Christmas albums. And, yes, I start listening to Christmas music starting November 1st.