MAGNUMMMS

Ok errbody. I've been feeling particularly uninspired until about 20 minutes ago when the ridiculousness of our generations pop culture came up and bitch slapped me. Ready? Go.

1. "Firework" by Katy Perry

This song is the tits. It's that inspirational "don't worry about being such a screw up because you can still get a job on a street corner" kind of song. Well, I feel inspired anyway. The music video, however, is neither the tits nor is it inspiring . Go watch it or this part isn't going to make sense. So Katy is just singing her little baby heart out, having a great time on a balcony when all of a sudden....HOLY SHIT SHE'S SHOOTING FIRE OUT OF HER LADY BITS.

At least try not to hit the bystanders...

So don't get me wrong. I love Katy Perry and, if given the opportunity, I'd probably be down for making out with her. That being said, she looks entirely too much like the fembots in Austin Powers.

Don't even try to tell me you don't see a similarity.

Please don't think that the metaphor is lost on me. I get the whole firework=independence/determination/coming to terms with how wonderful you are. But to say that everyone is special and perfect in their own way is sort of the nice way of saying no one is. You were all thinking it, I just said it.

Anyway, so as all these people find their independence and love themselves for who they are and all that stuff they begin to...burst into flame? Also, how much would it suck to be one of the people who didn't actually get to become a firework, but instead just get a bunch of gunpowder all over your clothes? A lot...that's how much.

Then after all these people find their independence is where I get lost, because the camera cuts to a woman giving birth for no apparent reason. So think of the cheesiest birth scene you've ever viewed and then add a Fourth of July fireworks display. Those poor doctors.

That's all I'm going to say about this music video. Too much pregnancy and fire. Bleck.

2. Public Service Announcements

OH MY FRACKING GOD. There is a new PSA out concerning safe sex courtesy of the Candies Foundation. It's called the "Pause Before You Play" campaign and guys, this one is a doozie. The spokespeople? Mike "The Situation" and Bristol Palin. I, for one, am so SICK of seeing Bristol's face around. Her poor child is going to be so aware of how unwanted he or she is by the time it hits puberty that the parent-child strain is going to be out of this world. For a mother who is so in the media, I'm surprised I don't know the sex of Bristol's baby. Coincidence? I think not.

So the PSA goes on and has Palin advocating abstinence while Mike advocates safe sex through condoms. My favorite part of this whole thing is when Palin says something along the lines of "Mike, I just want you to practice safe sex". Then, Situation whips out a pack of Magnums. I don't know what is more offensive: The thought of The Situation have sex with anyone or the idea that a white guy is trying to convince the world that he uses Magnums. You're Italian, Mike. Not black. He's not even that Italian.

3. Sarah Palin's reality show

Is this even necessary? Sarah Palin is a joke, but as much as I want to hate her, I can't. She just so gosh-darn cute and Alaskan when she runs around with bears and shit. I smell an Emmy coming on.

Alright guys thats all I have for today!

Thanks for reading!

Sydney

Obsession of the day: Taylor and Leah