We used to have precious little gems like "Survivor", "American Idol", and (how could anyone forget?) "Bug Juice". These shows chronicled "real life" situations and showed America what it was like to go into the jungle and live solely on rice and pig fat, be totally criticized on your singing voice by cracked out has-beens (cough Paula Abdul cough), and how to find true love at a weird summer day camp. And for the record, children of the '90's, I know for a fact that all of you tried at one point or another to figure out what camp those kids went to just for the sake of being on "Bug Juice" season 2. Regardless of how extensive your obsession was with summer camp, because I can guarantee it was nowhere near mine, you must admit that these shows are total classics, right? But then we started eating dog testicles and free falling thousands of feet to our death for $50, and I was outof the reality game. Actually it really started getting creepy for me during "Big Brother". To this day, I still don't understand what the point of having some guy omnisciently watch you run around naked and make out with your strange roommates was, but some people loved it.
Even shows I used to love have just become hot damn tranny messes. Example: America's Got Talent. America USED to have talent. America now just has a ton of freakshows looking to win big money. Damn you, Susan Boyle. Now all of us here in McDonald's nation look like tards (but at least we're not 55 years old who have never been kissed! Zing! Cheap shot!). All joking aside, her rendition of Les Miserable's "I Dreamed a Dream" was stunning. I'm obviously just jealous of her talent.
But back to the task at hand. I'm really kind of over the whole idea of the Brits infiltrating our systems and criticizing our people. Tony Blair and George Bush were besties, and what did that get us? Simon Cowell striking the fear of God into every young adult singer that walked through those American Idol audition doors. You will never see a reality show on BBC with an American judge. Why? Because we are thought to have no concept of talent or sense of style. Britain's given the world Elton John and one of my personal favorite singers, Adele. We have Ke$ha (who I'm secretly obsessed with) and William Hung. Who's the best dressed woman in Hollywood? Victoria Beckham. Where is she from? England. Nice job, UK. Well played, Posh Spice. If you can find a British show with one of us KFC eating losers on it, especially in a position of authority, I'll give you props.
But, anyway the panel of judges on "America's Got Talent" is just a little ridiculous. Not only is Piers a flaming douche-lord and I have no idea what his claim to fame is or what he does with his life, we have Ozzy's wife, and....Howie Mandell? The guy who hosted "Deal or No Deal"? Well, alright guys. Whatever you say.
There are plenty of other reality shows that go from "guilty pleasure" to "scraping the bottom of the reality show barrel. A few at the very bottom of this barrel are:
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